An extract from-WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1847)

'Heatcliff had knelt on one knee to embrace her; he attempted to rise, but she seized his hair, and kept him down.
--"I wish I could hold you," she continued bitterly, "till we were both death! I shouldn't care what you suffered. I care nothing for your sufferings. Why shouldn't you suffer? I do! Will you forget me? Will you be happy when I am in the earth? Will you say twenty years hence, 'That's the grave of Catherine Earnshaw. I loved her long ago, and was wretched to lose her; but it is past. I've loved many others since: my children are dearer to me than she was; and at death, I shall not rejoice that I am going to her: I shall be sorry that I must leave them! Will you say so, Heatcliff?"
--"Don't torture me till I am as mad as yourself," cried he, wrenching his head free, and grinding his teeth."'
(from Wuthering Heights)

A 19 year old walk through life and I don't know where I am heading. So many things I have gone through but when you open up your eyes to the world,it makes you feel so small and makes you realize that a lot is yet to be faced. At times i remain quiet with a question mark hanging above me asking what next? frankly, i don't know,what next? I have question marks asking me "whys" about my past. But again i don't know.I haven't had a celebrated or bombastic past but whatever i have gone through has taught me something and most of the time i have learn t it the hard way. And now i stand at a juncture where i feel that my saturation point has arrived but I am only 19,and this can't be true. So i set out to think about what next? It has been haunting me for awhile and i frankly don't know [yes frankly is ma fav word] and I can't explore the secret that my future holds. Nobody knows the future but me,i don't even know what am I doing with my present. I feel out of place, i feel am done but then i wanted to do so many things and i wanted to be "ME" but now I realize that I never had a proper definition of my "ME". so now I promise myself that I will nurture a dream, try to design my "ME".And when I do that I am sure I have some sleepless nights and some fights coming my way too.

Just another girl

Just another day in the life of a just another girl
Dnt be surprised if I said that she is like any other gal
Yes,she is,she is just another girl
She is like any girl born with not so black eyes
She is like any girl who has fallen in,out and in love again
She has like any girl got dreams unfulfilled She like any girl goes through "monthly trauma"
She just like any girl has learnt to fear the word 'rape'
Not knowing that it is a common term for both HIM and HER
She has learnt that forbearance is her duty
And silence her birthright
She has tried to differ from everybody else
She has tried to fight away the unrest
She has tried to throw a fit of rage at the worst chap
She has tried to be different for some reason and all
But,Alas! she remains an ordinary girl tagged as "just another gal"

Goodnight

City's lights have been switched on,
Darkness is delusion ed when far away a flash of spark has come and gone;
The twinkling stars and the moon light up each other bright;
Yeah, just like your smile brightens up me and makes everything right!